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Secrets of Abundance and Prosperity
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Why Relationships Fail

by Daniel N. Brown

Most of the suffering in our relationships is directly related to
the failure of other people meeting our expectations. Or, their
failure to do what we think is right for them or what may satisfy
us.

We often find ourselves attempting to change someone else’s life.
Mostly, it’s someone we are close to, like a husband, or a wife,
a child, or even a sibling. Our intentions are usually good in
hopes of making life better for someone we care about. But,
unfortunately, it's next to impossible to control someone else’s
life.

Of course we should have great expectations of those we love.
But, how do we handle it when others don’t do as we’d like? Do we
accept them for the choices they make regardless of our opinion
about those choices? 

Our loved ones will usually end up making their own decisions
about what they need and desire. Many will make career choices,
money choices, and relationship choices, part, or all of which,
may not please us. It's how we handle their decisions that will
affect us.

We can maintain our sanity by how detached we can be when the
direction of another's life conflicts with what we think is best
for them. When we can act with the assurance that they must
follow their own path just as we must follow ours, we will have
taken a great step in maintaining our peace.

It's been said, "A man's weakness, strength, purity and impurity,
are his own and no one else's. They are brought about by himself
and can only be altered by himself. Never by another. His
condition is also his own and his suffering's and happiness are
evolved from within.” 

If you have a loved one who is going down, what you may think is
the wrong path, all you can do is offer him or her advice, but,
only if they want it. It's been said, "A mind changed against
it's will, is of the same opinion still."

The essential rule when trying to convert someone's way of
thinking is: Don't  - at least, not at first.

First, just listen to what they say. It shows respect and allows
you to learn. After hearing what they say, show that you "get it."
And be positive. If you're negative, they'll defend their
decisions even more. 

Next, nudge the other person to see your side. Then gently,
introduce your perspective.

If we are ever to get someone else to see our side of things we
must absolutely be sensitive to their thinking.

It's been said that, "You can catch more flies with honey than
with vinegar." In other words, you can win people to your way of
thinking more easily by gentle persuasion and flattery than by
hostile confrontation.

Anyway, like I said, most of the suffering in our relationships
is directly related to the failure of other people meeting our
expectations. And, because it's next to impossible to control
someone else’s life, we must accept them for the choices they
make regardless of our opinion about those choices. So,
sometimes we just have to agree to disagree.

I believe the best help we can ever be to someone else is by
being a good listener and becoming the best example we can
possibly be.